Oh, it’s you.
Come in then. But mind the furniture – it belongs to a friend.
I suppose, like the rest of the world, you’re wondering who I am and what all the fuss is about. I’ll tell you.
I am the most interesting woman you will ever meet. The most interesting person, I dare say.
As a child, I travelled the world. My father was a high ranking diplomat – a post he attained shortly after selling out of his law firm, Bitsch & Mohne, carrying a detailed dossier on several top politicians and business leaders in one pocket and a small fortune in the other. A fortune, I am happy to say, that is now safely in my care, while father, poor pet, rests in the care of an efficient and discreet German nursing home. But I digress.
Thanks to my early peripatetic behaviour and glimpses into global politics, I became au fait with the foibles and weaknesses of human nature.
My education continued – as I’m certain yours has – as I began establishing relationships with men. I won’t bore with you with the details as they’re the same things every girl learns. Because men everywhere are all the same. (Note, however, that men’s financial circumstances vary wildly. Let’s call that Lesson 1.)
Now I am sharing my life experiences with the world through my website. Why? Let’s just say that even a girl with squillions safely invested in various offshore assets still has to think about cashflow.
And I am not above hocking off the odd coffee mug or t-shirt with my picture and a bon mot or two to maintain my independence. Besides, have you seen what the price of Italian shoes has been doing lately? It’s enough to make one resort to non-vintage Champagne.
Well, don’t just stand there! Make yourself comfortable and enjoy. I know I have.